When talking with our little ones, we need to
use correct language and never underestimate their ability to understand us.
Like I discussed in my previous posting, it is very beneficial to our little
ones’ development for us to communicate daily events, ideas, projects, news, happenings,
family plans, etc. Even to our littlest ones!
However, here’s an important tip: without underestimating
your kiddos, be aware that they are not in the same cognitive development as we
are. So, it’s important to be very clear, to give examples, to choose your
words carefully, and sometimes to even use gestures to make communication more
effective. I’m not talking about using baby language or avoiding complex words.
You can still use new words with them (it will help increase their vocabulary),
but try to be clear when communicating – your goal is for them to understand
you.
Let me think of an example and a suggestion to give. Let’s say you want to let them know how long it
will take to get to grandma’s house (a road trip), or how much TV they still
have before dinner, or how much time they have at the playground… If you say
grandma’s house is 2 hours away, or they can watch TV for 30 minutes, or they have 10 more minutes at the park, they
might not grasp what that really means… The concept of time is too abstract for
our little ones to understand. No wonder they keep asking over and over
again “
are we there, yet?” during a
road trip!
In order to be clear and respectful of them, one
suggestion I have is to use our hands when communicating length of time. I’ve
used it with clients (to communicate the length of the play therapy session),
students (length of time for a certain activity), and now I’m starting to use
it with my daughter. It works wonderfully!
This is how it goes: you stretch out your arms
really far from each other (horizontally) and say: “This is how long this trip
will take (or this is how much time we will spend at the park). It takes 2
hours to get to grandma’s house (or we will be at the park for 40 min)”. And
then you can show it in your watch as well.
Explain to them that as the time passes, the hands
get closer and closer together (and that the little legs in the watch also
moves forward). Tell them that once the hands are half way near each other (show
your hands getting closer), they only have 1 hour left of driving (or about 20
more minutes left at the park). Continue by showing your hands get very close
to each other and explain that it means they have 30 (or 10) more minutes left.
Then, hands will be barely touching each other (that usually excite them) and
this means they are almost there (or park time is almost over). Hands touch
(clap!) – we are at grandma’s house (or time to go home)!!
Once you have explained it to them, stretch your arms back apart and say that time has started. As time passes, they will either ask you how far they are, or you can go ahead and show them your hands to let them know how much time has passed and how much time is left. Specially when you are ending a fun activity, it is very important to show when they are 10 (and then again 5) minutes away to the end. It helps them prepare for the finale and they will be less frustrated with the interruption of the TV, park, or game. It is also very helpful on road trips, as it lowers their anxiety of wanting to get there right away. They will gradually understand that they need to wait for the hands to touch each other. With a little bit of understanding of the time concept, our kiddos will feel less "lost" in this world of so many changes and unpredictability, consequently they will feel more in control of what is going to happen in the next minutes and can accept better the changes, the routine, the lack of routine, and the need to be patience and wait.
This is only one suggestion of how to communicate effectively with your little ones. There are many others! If you have any specific request related on how to communicate with them in other ways, please, post your question here and I will be happy to share more ideas. It is our mission, as parents and educators, to learn how to communicate with our kiddos appropriately and meet them in the developmental stage where they are - while they are not there yet! :)
Have a wonderful week!!
